But if I'm ever going to write in here, I'm just going to forget about that. So here's a little blurb on what I've been thinking about tonight..

I was reading one of Mike Donehey's Over & Underneath journals (the 4th chapter in case any of you have them). Throughout the chapter he kept mentioning snow and how it acts like a symbol of God's grace and redemption, making things new and clean (I assume he wrote this entry sometime around Christmas). At the end of the chapter he asks a question.

"Is Christ a means to an end or an end in Himself?

In other words, this Christmas, if you could get everything you wanted, I'm talking snow, family, maybe a 70" plasma screen, if you could have no more pain and no more crying, streets of gold, angels in the sky, or a castle on a cloud; if you could go to heaven and receive relief from your guilt, healing from your diseases, and safety from your enemies, but you couldn't have Christ, would you still have everything you ever wanted? Would you be happy?"

That question really hit me hard, because if I'm really totally honest with myself, if I take a step back and look at my motives, why am I worshipping Christ? Why am I serving Him? Is it because I want a better life and following Him is ultimately going to give me that? Is it because I want to experience eternal life in heaven and escape the punishment of eternal damnation?

Not that wanting those things are wrong in and of themselves.

But the question is do I really value Christ for WHO he is? Or am I, maybe even without realizing it, using Him as nothing more than a means of getting what I think is best for my life. Because at the core, that's just selfishness. He is the only thing, the only person that deserves our worship. Not the "stuff" with which He blesses us. Not even the eternal life he gives us. Just Christ Himself. We are so focused on stuff that we use our Savior as a means for getting that stuff. Sometimes it's so hard to see past this life. (Even now as I've been writing this blog, I checked my facebook twice to see if I had any notifications.) Distractions are everywhere, and it's hard to focus all of our attentions on the only One who deserves them.

After reading Mike's blog I remembered seeing this video of Aaron Gillespie. He basically says something similar about his experience in Uganda.

Well, that's all I got. I should really get to bed now. Have a great week guys!